So once again critters are staking a claim to my home.
This time it’s a horny woodpecker. I didn’t know he was horny at first, I just knew that he was annoying and he was destroying a clapboard.
When the incessant pecking began, the cats took turns getting up on the cat tower to look out the window to watch him work.
I have cats who don’t know how to be cats unless you activate their murder button while petting them. Or who only act like cats when marking their territory on Vincent van Gogh’s “Starry Night Over the Rhone” hanging above the love seat. But I digress.
This bird was so bold that when I stuck my head out the window, he just kept pecking away. When I shouted, “Get the hell off of my house!” He flew just above my head and settled himself on the window casing, and waited. As if I couldn’t see him. Pecker.
I called the pest control company. They know me now because last March I asked them to send an exorcist to rid my attic of demons, which turned out to be mice.
When the woman answered, I asked for an exterminator to come out. I thought that the pecker was trying to get to carpenter ants that have been a problem for the 30 years that I have lived here. (Now that I think about it, maybe I need a new pest control company.)
That’s when I found out that he was a horny pecker. Apparently it was Woodpexker mating season and he was staking a claim, or trying to attract a female, or whatever the heck horny woodpeckers do.
The woman told me to hang some shiny reflective pie plates out the window because the reflection would deter him.
So off to the Dollar Store I went. I bought 6 aluminum pie plates and strung 3 together, anchored with a wooden disc that had been keeping my now deflated Happy Birthday mylar balloon from flying away.
I went to the upstairs bedroom and dangled the plates low enough to reach the holes in my house.
The downside is that it now looks like I’m trying to communicate with E.T. and the “anchor ” bouncing against my house is just as annoying as the sound the woodpecker made, minus the damage.
Now as I sit here on a November Sunday morning listening to pie plates and a wooden anchor bang against my house, I wonder if it’s safe to dismantle my science experiment.
Off to Google I go.
First, I identified the pecker as a Downy Woodpecker. The Audubon Society says this bird makes lots of noise. No kidding.
Mating season? Well that peaks between April and May. So why did this start in October?
And now for a “Fun Fact”: they have been found nesting inside the walls of buildings.
Oh, Hell no!
I cannot have woodpeckers in my walls along with migrating mice. So, I will leave the pie plates to twist in the wind.
If I hear from E.T. I’ll let you know.